I need some help-I love my little boy more than I can say-but he is a little wild and church is becoming more and more difficult. I thought it got easier the older they got, but I have been wrong. I was all excited for him to get into nursery to be able to at least have two meetings to listen to, but Ryan (who has never had a problem with this) suddenly developed separation anxiety recently and won't let us leave him in there alone. Sacrament meeting is totally out of the question. We last about five minutes before we have to go out in the hall. I try to bring special treats that he doesn't normally get, but then he tries to dump them on the floor and if I take them away he screams and we have to leave. It is hard because the other kids his age seem to be able to handle sacrament meeting. I know he is still really little, but I don't know how to teach him the concept of "no". I really want church to be a positive experience for all of us. So I need some suggestions-what do you do to get the most out of your church experience? What kind of activities do you do with your kids to distract them and help them to stay in sacrament? How do you teach a child that he can't yell in church? Any suggestions would be helpful-thanks!
18 comments:
Is there any activity that he does at home that keeps him quiet and entertained for a while? Like for Addie she will listen to us read books for a long time quietly so we just bring lots of books and when that stops working we give her a container with things she likes to dump out and put the stuff back into or she will color or something. Ryan probably realizes that when he screams he gets to go out in the hall so I am not sure what to tell you about that I don't think Addie has figured that out yet.
When you take him out in the hall dont let him run around. Make him sit on your lap. Dont let him play toys out there or anything, so he'll want to go back in-because he gets to play with toys in there. Going out should be worse than sitting in sacrament.
I'm right with you, Anne. Sacrament with Lindsey is a joke. Jack used to be crazy and is now doing well, if that makes you feel any better! We try books with magnets, file folder games, cars, coloring, etc. Each week is a totally new adventure. Just remember that you aren't the only one going through this stage!! Good luck!
We are all going through. Hallie is pretty good now, but definitely has good and bad days. We bring her little figures of disney characters that she loves to play with along with books and a coloring thing that I have no idea what it is called. Its like an etch-a-sketch with a pen, that way she can't color on the chairs. Just remember that all thought you feel like your kid is the worst, its probably not the case and honestly every mom goes through it.
Hallie wasn't happy at first about going to nursery, she would cry and scream. We just started handing her to one of the teachers and leaving, she would cry when we leave and spend most of the class on the teachers lap, but she wasn't crying anymore when we picked her up. It just took a few weeks of this until she realized how fun it was. Now she races to nursery and could care less if we are there or not. Just stick to it and he will adjust.
My mom would give us the "eye" and we new we were in trouble. If that didnt work she would pinch our arm. If that didnt work then her last resort was to take us into the bathroom and give us a spanking. I know its not really the popular thing to do but can I just say that we really were the most reverent children in our ward.
I have the same problem, but food usually works for a little while. Then I roam the halls and wonder what I'm doing there. Sunday is the worst day of the week for me. So, sorry I can sympathize, but I have no good advice. I only hope for brighter days soon. Good luck.
Oh Anne! I wish I had some good ideas, but the fact of the matter is that most moms feel just like you do. Every child seems to have some things (or many things) that they have a hard time with and it's always a struggle to find the best ways to deal with them. But, I find it helpful knowing that I'm not alone. I promise the other moms out there (including me) have many moments a day where we feel helpless with our children and have a hard time figuring out the best way to guide them. You're not alone! For you it may be entertaining him in sacrament, and for others it is getting them dressed for church, etc. Anyway, I am sure you are making wonderful decisions as a mother and time will help those things sink in with him.
Sacrament is just hard. I believe that is where we learn to endure because it would be so easy for me to justify and say I am not going to church because it is too hard. But I do and spend a lot of time in the hall! As far as the yelling in church...let me know what you find out. That is something I am still trying to figure out!
Kids are just really smart and they know how to get what they want. He can't learn that all he has to do is throw a fit and then he gets his way. I would take Josh into some random room and sit with him on my lap and he would scream! I guess eventually it just got better. I had to stay with Josh in nursery for like two months. Actually I didn't stay because he was more attatched to me. SO if he is more attatched to Pete, I would say don't have him drop him off or stay with him. Don't worry it will get better!
I mostly just read the comments for some advice myself. Good luck- to all!:)
I agree with whoever said keep him in your lap when you're out in the hall. If he screams too loud then find an empty classroom and hold him in there. Also, I know some people say the less toys and snacks you bring, the better. My bishop has eight kids and they are all perfect during sacrament meeting. They don't bring anything. But I think they start that when the kids are two. Until then they try to keep it really simple.
As far as nursery goes, all I can tell you is that someday he will be okay with it. It might be next month, or next year, but just have perspective that it won't be like this forever. McKay struggled a lot at first and it lasted about nine months. He struggled most during the structured lesson time and so I would go in for that sometimes and leave him when they played and had snacks. But I know how you feel- it was very stressful.
Good luck though. It's hard.
Omigsoh! Where do we even start! I was going to do a post just like this! No kidding! Emma is so wild at church! I just went with my mom to get "Sunday Only" toys and snacks and I think that they helped this last week but today.....well that was terrible! I seriously know that everyone has something to say and I don't know what to say here except that I am with you! I just have realized that they are still very little and we need to be patient! :) Good Luck! :)
I don't have kids but I heard someone say that when you take them out of the sacrament meeting room, you go find an empty room, have them sit on a chair, and practice being quiet. They are being rewarded by being taken out. Make sure it's not a reward!
wanted to say i miss you and love you and let the legacy of ghetto bootays live on!
Oh Anne- good luck!!! I am so sorry. I wish I had good advice for you!!! But it looks like you have lots of good advice that I'll be reading as well!
I think there's already a lot of good advice. But first of all, try not to worry about what other people think. Everyone remembers how it is to have a difficult toddler at church and most likely they just feel bad for you, not annoyed. So don't feel embarassed.I think Ryan probably senses that you are really frustrated and maybe he's acting up to get even more attention. If you take him out of the meeting, make it brief and very boring or even miserable (the holding on the lap idea is a good one), but when he stays in the meeting, you can give him fun things to do: coloring, treats, games, etc. Adelyn started behaving herself much better when she saw that going in the hall was a punishment rather than a privilege. And lastly, it will get better. Eighteen months is probably the peak of difficulty for toddlers in my opinion because they can't communicate very well yet. As far as nursery is concerned, just be patient. Stay in there in the beginning and then leave. He may cry for a minute, but the nursery people will get him happy again. Stay in less and less time each week and he'll warm up to the idea. Wooh! Sorry that was so long.
Hi,Anne. It's Katie (Baum) Sundberg. I love seeing your cute family on your blog. All the previous comments are really good, I just have one other thing to add. It seems very simple, but it always works for me. When Jason got called as bishop, Halle was 4 and Gray was 1. It was really hard to adjust to having both of them during sacrament meeting by myself. I would often be near tears by the end. I needed help and started praying really hard every morning before church that I would be able to handle the kids, that they'd be good, etc. It worked better than anything I could have done. Some weeks I would forget to specifically pray for that help, and I would notice the difference. I know that is so simple, but Heavenly Father wants us to be there, so he will help us if we just ask.
Anne! I can't believe how old your little one is now! It's been so long since I've seen you guys. Your blog is so fun to look at! Is it alright if I add you?
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