Just like most people, I feel like i am in a constant balancing act with all the different roles I need to fulfill-mother, wife, daughter, sister, nurse, YW leader, neighbor, etc-but I can't seem to find the perfect balance in order to keep them from shifting the weight and causing my whole world to topple over. I can't seem to devote enough time to each area that I feel like I am giving it everything I have. I always seem to be thinking about something else I need to do when I should be focused on the present task.
I am especially struggling to find balance between work and being a mother. I find myself spending more time at work than I ever planned or wanted to, but I have to be there for financial reasons. Maybe I am struggling because I am constantly battling feelings of guilt-I feel guilty for leaving him to go to work, I feel guilty when I leave to exercise, I feel guilty if we don't do enough projects, i feel guilty if I let him watch too much TV, I feel guilty if he doesn't eat well or we don't read enough books. I need to learn to balance these two worlds so that I can feel some sort of peace in both of them. I love being a mom, and someday hope to be home all the time but have to figure out how to blend two worlds right now. I realized-after reading a blog post-that when I am home I need to take some time out of each day to spend quality time with Ryan and not push my agenda on him, but let him decide what happens. But how do I overcome that guilt that I feel on a daily basis? What are you doing to find true balance in your life?
Monday, April 18, 2011
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
I'm sure you're doing great. For me, I have tried extra hard lately to use the "Good, better, best" mentality. Also, our Bishop told us that if there is something taking us away from our families (something unnecessary; obviously if you need to work then that's different), that we need to stop and stop now. That's really hit me the past few weeks as I evaluate the things I am choosing to do with my time. Right now I need to be with my kids as much as possible so I miss out on some other things. I figure I'll have time later in life for those things. I personally have a strong feeling I need to be "present" as much as possible right now.
I think guilt and mother are two words that just go hand in hand. I struggle balancing everything myself- and I don't even work. That must be really difficult to do and I know you're doing a better job than you think. We're always so hard on ourselves. A thought I've been having lately when I feel so overwhelmed with all that I need to do, should do, and want to do in my life is that we were made to handle all these things. That's what we're here for and we were designed to handle all that we have to do. Something would be wrong in life if we had nothing to work on. I don't know if that makes sense, but maybe? Either way, good luck finding balance, and let me know how you did it when you get there! :)
Sounds like a conversation I just had with Erika about her work/school/mothering life. I'm not sure there's ever a "true" balance that is definable (as far as I've heard), but I definitely know that the Lord does NOT give us feelings of guilt--we know where/who those feelings come from. He'll always let us know when we're doing what is right and good -- be that spending time with Ryan/family or being someone's angel/nurse or giving an awesome testimony to your Young Women -- and He'll always be there when we need His calming (and reassuring) Spirit. Keep doing a great job, Anne! Hope to see you guys soon!
I'm pretty sure this is something we always will be striving for! I thought once I quite working that I'd feel better about the time I spend with my kids, but it's still tricky to juggle everything on your plate! However, from what I've seen you are fab and doing a great job, so don't beat yourself up. Maybe that's why grandparents enjoy grandkids so much--because they've finally found the balance (and get sleep)?
I think the fact that you are genuinely concerned shows that you are a great Mom! I was thinking about this the other day too. I wrote 3 lists. One was things I like to do with my kids. The second was things my kids like to do with me, and the third was what I can put off until they are sleeping. Each day I've tried to do 1-2 items from each list. It's nothing grand but it's been helpful! Good luck, Ryan is lucky to have you!
Dan and I decided there is no such thing as balance except in terms of balanced neglect. And so that's our new goal: that we're able to keep up with our lives enough that no one thing is neglected too much more then another.
Love you Annie!
I heard something once about how our lives are like juggling balls and each area is a different ball. Some areas are glass balls and some areas are rubber balls. I guess our relationships/people are glass and other areas like cleaning or maybe working are rubber. If we drop a rubber ball it can bounce back but the glass ones can shatter. I thought it was a good analogy but I don't think I live it all the time. I constantly need to remind myself what my real priorities are in life and focus on those first. I can totally relate to tv guilt. I keep it to about an hour a day now, but it used to be more. Btw, I've always thought you were perfect soooo that's sayin you look pretty good from the outside. :)
Post a Comment